The world's first premium catchphrase-as-a-service. A serious movement, for serious people, backed by absolutely nothing and worth four million dollars.
As incredulously dismissed on The Tim Dillon Show · “Fatty Boom Batties?!? Not going to work.”
Most catchphrases are free. That is exactly the problem. We've built the rails to turn a single dismissive utterance into a defensible, venture-scale movement.
You cannot say it as well as we can. That's the whole moat. Patent pending on the inflection.
The Hogs do our marketing for free and thank us for the privilege. Best unit economics in the game.
We say this constantly. It tests well. It means nothing. It is, frankly, beautiful.
A global congregation of serious people who refresh this page to feel something. Tiered. Loyal. Monetizable. We love them and we will be selling their data shortly.
Enlist as a HogI came here for a catchphrase and left with a worldview, a subscription, and a renewed sense that nothing matters.
All tiers include the phrase. Only one tier includes our undivided, suspiciously intense gratitude.
Every serious movement eventually becomes a financial instrument it does not understand. Introducing $BATTY — the official currency of the Hogs, secured by Proof of Hog, and engineered for a single, honest outcome.
Fairest launch in history. The entire supply goes to one man. The Hogs receive the privilege of having participated.
A revolutionary consensus mechanism where validators simply agree it's going up. It is not going up.
We are the only token in the space with an achievable, fully-audited roadmap to zero. We are already ahead of schedule.
A serious movement deserves a serious legal arm. Introducing Fatty, Boom & Batty LLP — Catastrophic Infant Detonation Attorneys. If your child was microdosing a GLP-1, ate zero fiber, and detonated on a microsuede couch, you did nothing wrong and someone owes you four million dollars.
*It is not real. But the couch was, the iPad was, and the settlement could be. We only need one believable plaintiff and a sympathetic cushion.
We have never won. We have, however, recovered $4,000,000 (pending) and replaced 47 couches. The math works if you don't look at it.
Industry-leading. You keep a token amount and your dignity, neither of which we can guarantee survives discovery.
A serious movement deserves a serious institution of higher earning. Introducing Fatty Boom Batty Academy™ — 18 campuses, one Chancellor (jurisdiction undisclosed), and a curriculum engineered to replace your old worldview with a strictly worse one that costs money.
Zero accreditation. All the branding of a real university and none of the parts that would let you verify that.
Yes, it's still a matrix. But this matrix assigns you a folding chair and calls it a seat of power. Huge difference.
Tuition increases every time you reread this sentence. It just did. Our refund policy is the same as our curriculum: nonexistent.
This world-saving asset was bootstrapped with love, zero budget, and one (1) unhinged vision. The cap table is clean. The valuation is a feeling. The exit is you.