The official coin of the movement. One hundred percent of supply allocated to one man with great energy. You are early. You are also, in every meaningful sense, the exit liquidity.
Down from $4,000,000 at launch (launch was eleven seconds ago). Our analysts remain cautiously suicidal.
Audited by a man Tim met at a steakhouse. The contract is renounced, mostly because no one wanted it.
Allocation is extremely limited, by which we mean it is unlimited and worthless. Connect nothing, deposit everything. There are no refunds because there is no mechanism, no team, and no remorse.
10,000 procedurally generated Hogs, each uniquely worthless. Your Hog is your identity, your community, and your single largest financial mistake.
The Gilbert Goons were a generation of suburban sociopaths with no fear, no remorse, and disturbing amounts of free time — for years, a tragically untapped talent pool. Then two industries realized the same traits that get you arrested also get you promoted. Palantir wanted the cold ones. Crypto wanted the rest. This is the funnel that found them.
Abstract — We present $BATTY, a trustless protocol enabling the instantaneous transfer of value from many people to one person. By replacing the inefficiencies of legacy finance (regulation, recourse, shame) with Proof of Hog, $BATTY achieves what no prior asset has dared: a transparent, auditable, and fully on-chain path to zero.
The fiat system is a scam run by people in suits. $BATTY is a scam run by a large man in a hoodie, which we consider a meaningful improvement in honesty. Existing tokens promise utility and deliver none. We promise nothing and deliver it reliably, ahead of schedule, every single day.
Traditional consensus mechanisms waste energy (Proof of Work) or reward the wealthy (Proof of Stake). Proof of Hog requires only that a quorum of validators loudly agree the price is going up. Finality is reached when everyone is too embarrassed to disagree. The mechanism has never produced a correct result and we are very proud of it.
Let S be the total supply and Tim be Tim. The allocation function is defined as f(x) = Tim for all x. We model price discovery as P(t) = P₀ · e^(−t), where t is time and P₀ is your hope. As t → ∞, P → 0, which our roadmap correctly identifies as the target.
$BATTY may go down. $BATTY may go down further. There is no scenario, modeled or imagined, in which $BATTY goes up. Past performance is the only performance and it is also bad. Consult a financial advisor, then ignore them, then buy more — this is the only documented user behavior.
We have built a movement, a community, and now a currency, none of which should exist. $BATTY is not an investment; it is a feeling, denominated, and the feeling is regret. Fatty boom batty.