Est. on a Tuesday podcast · Series A coming

Fatty
Boom Batty

The world's first premium catchphrase-as-a-service. A serious movement, for serious people, backed by absolutely nothing and worth four million dollars.

Become a Founding Hog Read the thesis →

As incredulously dismissed on The Tim Dillon Show  ·  “Fatty Boom Batties?!? Not going to work.

47
countries (unverified)
1
(one) unhinged vision
$4M
post-money valuation
batties, boomed
The Thesis

Three words.
An entire asset class.

Most catchphrases are free. That is exactly the problem. We've built the rails to turn a single dismissive utterance into a defensible, venture-scale movement.

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Defensible moat

You cannot say it as well as we can. That's the whole moat. Patent pending on the inflection.

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Community-led growth

The Hogs do our marketing for free and thank us for the privilege. Best unit economics in the game.

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Greatest country on Earth

We say this constantly. It tests well. It means nothing. It is, frankly, beautiful.

The Community

Built by the Hogs,
for the Hogs.

A global congregation of serious people who refresh this page to feel something. Tiered. Loyal. Monetizable. We love them and we will be selling their data shortly.

Enlist as a Hog

I came here for a catchphrase and left with a worldview, a subscription, and a renewed sense that nothing matters.

— Verified Hog, Tier 3 · whispered it to a plant, it grew
Membership

Pick your level of commitment.

All tiers include the phrase. Only one tier includes our undivided, suspiciously intense gratitude.

Civilian
$0
forever, regrettably
  • You may say the phrase
  • No emotional support
  • We do not know your name
Stay poor
Founding Hog ★
$4,000,000
one-time · invoice attached
  • Everything, obviously
  • Your name in the Hog Registry
  • A confusing tote bag
  • We mention you have "a great energy"
Become legendary
Enterprise
Let's talk
for serious institutions
  • Bulk batties
  • A handshake at a steakhouse
  • Plausible deniability
Contact sales
Now Tokenized

We made it a coin.
Of course we made it a coin.

Every serious movement eventually becomes a financial instrument it does not understand. Introducing $BATTY — the official currency of the Hogs, secured by Proof of Hog, and engineered for a single, honest outcome.

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100% to Tim

Fairest launch in history. The entire supply goes to one man. The Hogs receive the privilege of having participated.

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Proof of Hog

A revolutionary consensus mechanism where validators simply agree it's going up. It is not going up.

📉

Price target: $0

We are the only token in the space with an achievable, fully-audited roadmap to zero. We are already ahead of schedule.

Enter the $BATTY casino →
Now Litigating

Your baby exploded.
Someone must pay.

A serious movement deserves a serious legal arm. Introducing Fatty, Boom & Batty LLP — Catastrophic Infant Detonation Attorneys. If your child was microdosing a GLP-1, ate zero fiber, and detonated on a microsuede couch, you did nothing wrong and someone owes you four million dollars.

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The epidemic is real*

*It is not real. But the couch was, the iPad was, and the settlement could be. We only need one believable plaintiff and a sympathetic cushion.

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No fee unless we win

We have never won. We have, however, recovered $4,000,000 (pending) and replaced 47 couches. The math works if you don't look at it.

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Attorney fees: 94%

Industry-leading. You keep a token amount and your dignity, neither of which we can guarantee survives discovery.

Start your claim →
A message for one specific person

Tim Dillon,
acquire us.

This world-saving asset was bootstrapped with love, zero budget, and one (1) unhinged vision. The cap table is clean. The valuation is a feeling. The exit is you.

Outstanding strategic-acquisition invoice  ·  $4,000,000.00  ·  net-7